I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
