See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
