Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
