your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize