With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
