oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize