Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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