oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
