when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
