Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
