Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
