You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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