Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
