i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
