Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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