Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
