I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
