Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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