I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
