Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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