PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
