i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
