I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
