Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
