I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
