so that wasnt chicken after all
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
