I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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