It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Green mimosas i think yes
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
