heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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