ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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