Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
