My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
