its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
