i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
