After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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