I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize