you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
zippers are such a cool invention
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
