He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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