I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
