i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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