my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
