Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
