New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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