I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
