well I can't set my house on fire every night
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
