so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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