He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
