Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
