I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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