Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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