There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
