i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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