tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
