she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
