I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
