Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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