Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
