Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
