one two three fourrrrnication!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
