we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
