What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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