my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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