from now on my penis is your penis
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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