omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
