Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's shark week go big or go home
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
