Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
