She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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