I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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