I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
