I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I need water and some morals
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
