you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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