She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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