He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
