Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
