And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think my vagina is haunted
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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