He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize