handjob tips. give me some.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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